As Love Desires Life

Chapter 1 Fang Yingchun was tallying the items on the shelf, bent at the waist, left leg half bent, right leg splayed to the side, his movements slightly odd-looking. “1,2,3… 7.” He meticulously counted thrice, diligently recording the quantity in his ledger, to save the morning shift staff the trouble of recounting so that they could avoid any discrepancies. He didn't want to cause trouble for anyone, making extra sure the quantities matched and that the accounts were clear. “Ding-dong – welcome!” The door sensor chimed. Fang Yingchun glanced down at his watch – it was 11:45, fifteen minutes until the end of his shift. He got up and headed toward the checkout counter. His way of walking was distinct, reminiscent of a soldier with a leg injury from a war drama. He moved his left foot first, slightly tilted his body, then brought his right foot forward in a way that wasn't straightforward at all. Instead, like the foot of a compass, he made a small circle and dragged it forward. The customer who had just entered was standing in front of the refrigerator, oblivious to Fang Yingchun’s movements, saving him some embarrassment in the end. Back at the checkout counter, the screen of his phone was on. He glanced at his phone and saw that there was a message from Yin Yuli. He decided not to reply, at least not until after work. The customer brought a bottle of yogurt to the counter. He was a tall, thin man dressed in a sleek, shiny suit. He loosened his tie as he handed the bottle of yogurt to Fang Yingchun. The strong smell of alcohol mixed with the scent of tobacco wafted into his nostrils. ‘The man remembered to buy yogurt to sober up, so he must not be too drunk,’ Fang Yingchun thought to himself. “Beep.” The machine scanned the item. “Hello, that will be six yuan fifty cents. Will you be paying with Alipay, WeChat, or cash?” As Fang Yingchun lifted his head up, he met the man's gaze. There was no doubt about it – this was a very handsome man. At least in the twenty-something years Fang Yingchun had lived in Chaozhou, he had never seen someone as handsome as him. The man had long hair tied behind his head, which looked soft. He had distinct facial features, deep eye sockets, and his eyes were a light brown under the light of the store. At the same time, he gave off a 'stranger, stay away' kind of vibe. The man furrowed his brow slightly. Fang Yingchun thought he had offended the man with his gaze and quickly looked away. “Cash.” The man handed over a brand new ten-yuan bill. “Your change is three yuan fifty.” Fang Yingchun said, “Thank you for coming.” The man took the money and twisted open the cap of the yogurt bottle, his fingertips turning slightly white due to the effort. He gave Fang Yingchun another quick glance before sauntering out of the convenience store. Fang Yingchun watched the man’s retreating figure and felt a sigh of relief escape from his lips. Perhaps the man’s aura had been so powerful, it had left him a little breathless. By the time he checked his watch again, it was already 11:55 p.m. After tallying the money in the cash register, recording the amount, wiping down the checkout counter, and sweeping the floor, he could finally turn off the lights, close the store, and go home. Outside the convenience store, on the street, Fu Peihang tilted his head back and took another big gulp of yogurt. The sour and sweet sticky sensation filled his warm mouth, flowing down his esophagus straight into his stomach. The cold feeling wrapped around the fermenting alcohol, making him feel a whole lot better. He screwed the cap back on and adjusted his tie. It was still a bit tight around his neck, so he took it off and stuffed it into his trouser pocket, revealing a long loose fluttering end against his leg. Don't drink and drive, don't drive and drink was the mantra that repeated in his mind. He might as well come back to get his car once he was sober. That was what he thought as he hailed a taxi by the roadside. The taxi driver glanced at his late-night passenger through the rearview mirror. "Where to?" "Zhuque Street." Fu Peihang rolled down the window, allowing the slightly chilly spring night air to rush in. He knitted his brows while deep in thought. After spacing out for about five minutes, he made a phone call. The other end was buzzing with noise. "Brother Hang, what's up?" There was a crackling sound of electricity, making Fu Peihang's ears ache insistently. "Is your signal bad? It keeps cutting off." "It's your signal that's bad." "Ah — I'm busy at my dad's factory right now." Guan Ze ran outside, where the signal was slightly better, and the sound of electricity disappeared right then. "I've encountered..." Fu Peihang stared at the receding night scene. "It seems like him." "Who? Can you give me a name?" "Fang Yingchun." ... By the time Fang Yingchun managed to tidy everything up, it was already half past midnight. He locked the door and walked out where he was met by the dim orange light of the streetlamp outside. His gaze dropped to the ground as he walked slowly, like an elderly man. He placed his left foot securely on the ground, then swung his right foot in a neat little circle before placing it forward. His body swayed like a falling leaf before standing upright again. Then, his left foot lifted, taking the next step forward. A complete cycle was thus completed. Every road he traversed was made up of such cycles like this. Each step had to be carefully calculated to avoid the embarrassment of falling due to instability. The convenience store wasn’t far from his home. It took him about twenty minutes to walk there at his pace. Fang Yingchun bypassed the alley and walked into an old residential area. The electric door of the building had been broken for a long time and you could scrape your hand on the rust if you weren’t careful. Some time ago, the old residents complained to the property management, feeling it was unsafe to have a broken electric door. What if a thief broke in and threatened the residents' safety? The property management's responses were always vague, with excuses saying they were either waiting for funds or promising repairs soon. However, they had been making these empty promises for over two years now without showing any real intention of changing the electric door. Everyone eventually lost all patience to press them any further. There had been rumors lately of rising crime and it looked like the Chaozhou Police Station had caught many thieves recently. The elderly residents were discussing replacing the door themselves. Fang Yingchun didn't care about any of these things. He just did as the property management told him. Under the dim corridor lighting, he climbed up to the third floor. It was much easier to climb stairs than walk on flat ground. Sometimes, he would even take two steps at a time, showing off his mobility. Yin Yuli called this behavior "childish." Fang Yingchun didn't mind and always enjoyed himself when climbing the stairs. He carefully turned the key to open the door and groped to turn on the lights in the room. It was a typical old-fashioned residential house. After entering the entrance, there were two bedrooms straight ahead on the left and a small bathroom at the end; a long, narrow kitchen on the right; and a living room straight ahead. A sofa, a glass table, and a small TV were all squeezed together in the shadows, making the whole room appear particularly gloomy due to the lack of sunlight that came into this room. Despite this, it didn't deter Fang Yingchun's intention to decorate the room. Across the living room, through the small silver-painted door, there was a small balcony. The gray stone wall was only half a person high. He had planted some flowers and plants that didn't require much sunlight to grow well. Every day before he left, he would spend about ten minutes carefully watering and trimming them. Day after day of this, he never found it boring. Next to the flowers was a drawing board and a wooden chair, which happened to be Fang Yingchun's hobby. In his free time, he would stay here for a long time. Fang Yingchun slumped onto the sofa, shredding his fatigue. When he remembered that he had yet to reply to Yin Yuli's message, he pulled out his mobile phone from his pocket and found that he had received a few more messages in the meantime. However, most of the new messages were not from Yin Yuli, but from his brother, Yin Yuyi. These brothers behaved like enemies whenever they met and Fang Yingchun found himself always playing the role of middleman in order to smooth things out between them. - My brother is such an idiot. - He's such a damn idiot. Always causing problems for me while he can't even manage his own affairs. - Are you off work? If my brother calls you, ignore him. Could he really ignore him? Fang Yingchun furrowed his brow, massaged his temples, and slowly headed over to the balcony to call Yin Yuyi. "Little Ying." The call was picked up within seconds. "It's me. Brother Yuyi, is there anything wrong?" "Just got off work?" Yin Yuyi's voice sounded very tired. "Yes." "Did Little Li contact you?" He said, "That kid, I don't know where he's gone off to again." "... I don't know where he is either." Fang Yingchun looked up at the moon, which was a bit hazy tonight. "Little Li is all grown up. He won't get into any trouble." "All right..." Yin Yuyi was silent for a while. "If he comes to your place, let me know." "Okay. Get some rest." Fang Yingchun hung up and went back inside. He took some leftover dishes out of the refrigerator, heated them up, ate a few bites hastily, then went into the bathroom to take a hot shower and changed into a clean white T-shirt and shorts. He opened the door to the bedroom on his left, just a small crack. The light fell on the bed through the gap, cutting through the darkness of the room. The person on the bed stirred, seemingly awake, and called out in a daze, "Is Little Ying back?" "Mom." He walked in, each step taken with extreme caution to avoid making noise. He knelt by the bed, resting his head on the edge of the bed, tilting his head slightly, and asked, "Did I wake you up?" Fang Liuxia turned over and touched his hair. "Remember to dry your hair before you go to sleep, or you'll get a headache later." "Mm." Fang Yingchun smiled. "Did you have a nightmare?" Fang Liuxia shook her head, then sighed involuntarily. If the light were brighter, one could see the glistening tears in her eyes. "Please don't sigh." In the deep of the night, Fang Liuxia's emotions would become extremely unstable. It would often take Fang Yingchun an hour or two to calm her down before she’d fall asleep again. There were times when she couldn't control her emotions, which Fang Yingchun hated to see. An emotionally uncontrollable mother could only be calmed down with medication. "It's me, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry, I've burdened you, ruined you, made your life so hard." She buried her face in the blanket and wept quietly. "What are you saying?" Fang Yingchun put his face on her rough hand and gently patted her shoulder like she used to do when he was younger to get him to relax and fall asleep. "When my dad gave up on me, it was your insistence that saved me." He said, "Life is tough, but it's all good as long as you're still living and breathing." Fang Liuxia finally settled down after a while. Perhaps she was truly tired, since after a few moments, she started to snore softly. When Fang Yingchun got up, his legs were numb. He bent over to tuck her in before leaving the room and going back to his own bedroom. He didn't turn on the light. He stumbled into bed in the dark. The light from his phone illuminated his beautiful eyes. He had to send a message back to Yin Yuli, he thought. Want to come over for dinner tomorrow? — Okay. You sure took your time responding. What time is it? Why are you still awake? — Playing games. Didn't go home? — Yeah. In the Internet cafe. Don't snitch to that jerk. Understood. Come back and rest when you're done. The spare key is hidden in the usual place. — Got it. Looking at the words "Got it", Fang Yingchun laughed, put his phone on the bedside table, and turned over. When he closed his eyes, an image of that man unexpectedly appeared in his mind’s eye. The man in the suit who was buying yogurt at the convenience store. Such a beautiful man. The only description Fang Yingchun could think of was this awfully cliché phrase.